This week while traveling to Boston I over heard a three ladies visiting about raising children. One mother described a scenario where her daughter was not taking care of her toys. She mentioned that she really wanted to see a change in her daughter's heart regarding such things. Later in the conversation, she continued to go on and describe a time where her daughter forgot her lunch at home. She considered teaching her daughter a lesson and letting her go the day without lunch, but decided that Christ extends grace and mercy to us so she should do the same for her daughter. She then brought her daughter's lunch up to the school.

Something in this dialogue really concerned me. On one hand this mother wants to see a change in her daughter's heart regarding responsibility (i.e., the responsibility of taking care of her things). On the other hand, the mom neglected an opportunity for her daughter to experience a consequence for not caring for her things and being responsible (in this case her lunch). What is even more concerning is that Christ's grace became the reason for not allowing her child to experience a consequence for her actions.

Please consider this question. What did her daughter learn? Did her daughter learn that we should show grace and mercy to others, or did her daughter learn that she does not have to be responsible, mom will take care of everything? I would argue the latter. Please understand, I believe that we must teach our children grace and mercy. Grace and mercy are paramount in Christian living. However, are we showing our children grace and mercy if we do not teach them there are consequences for their actions?

I recognize that these types of decisions are not always clear cut. It is up to us as parents to do the best job we can in determining when we teach hard lessons. While I empathize that this can be challenging, it is important to teach our children life lessons so that they do not have to experience those life lessons as adults. As adults we experience, financial hardships, failed marriages, addiction, and other damaging consequences for decisions we make. I want my children to experience simple consequences for actions now so they will hopefully never have to experience a more devastating consequence later in life. Remember, God's grace and mercy does not promise freedom from pain in today's world. Sometimes we must experience these things in order to grow. We must experience these things in order to have "a change in our hearts".